Dear Ugg Boot Companies,

I am an avid wearer of your Ugg products. I like how toasty warm they keep my footsies during the chilly winter months here in Sydney. For someone who dislikes the cold as much as I do, you simply cannot go past the Ugg. I may have even been so bogan as to wear them out of the house, but lets keep this between us.*

I have a proposition for you.

I have to wear steel cap boots as an OHS requirement in my workplace. I’ve managed to escape this only one time when I couldn’t physically get my foot into my boots because of blisters. But that’s not the point. I HAVE to wear them.

Now, as anyone who is familiar with steel capped boots and or working on hard surfaces such as concrete may be aware, they don’t hold the warmth very well. They also don’t give very much, so when you say you’re a size seven, and you recieve your size seven boots, you can only ever wear them with one pair of thin socks, even after they’ve stretched out. So basically, your feet turn into little steel capped icecubes during the winter time. It makes walking painful and no amount of pepermint foot fizzies from The Body Shop will ever save them.

Do you see what I’m hinting at?

By far the best part of cold feeties during wintertime is when you can come home, get all refreshed, and slip your footsies into a nice cozy pair of fluffly lined comfort clouds. Aka, my ugg boots. Now just imagine if you could have that feeling all day long, while still keeping your toes safe should anything large and heavy fall directly onto them. Lets ignore the fact that I’m pretty sure Mythbusters proved that in some circumstances, steel-caps can cause more damage than protection. OHS people. Lets stick with the rules.

Dream with me here, folks. Imagine a pair of ugg boots that you could wear to work. Naturally they wouldn’t LOOK like conventional slipper type ugg boots, because only full bogans like me would ever be inclined to wear them out of the house and into a public place. In my imagination, they look like a more relaxed version of your conventional steel-capper, and would obviously include some kind of toe protection. But they would be lined with that same fluffy, toasty warm cloud like substance you find inside ugg boots.

Imagine the market! How many blue-collar workers are required by law to wear steel-caps? It’s guaranteed they’re also the same crowd that changes into their trakkies and uggs when they get home. Possibly the Ugg’s biggest market, besides those skanky girls who still think its a good idea to wear ugg boots with short denim skirts in the middle of a snowstorm. Or Pamela Anderson. Ignoring those, YOU COULD MAKE A FORTUNE!

I am available on Tuesdays and Wednesdays for any meetings you may wish to have to discuss this revolutionary idea.

Yours,
Miss K.

*.. Before you judge me, I wore them out of the house once when we were visiting friends who live literally around the corner, and a handful of times when I’ve had to nip out to the grocery store to pick up a few things. All times it has been under the cover of darkness and I was wearing long pants, not a denim skirt.